("Dragon Riders", Mika, watercolours)Treegod (Adam):
Let me tell a story of one contemporary Druid's encounter with the past. It's Druidry dudes, but not as we know it. :)
Our "hero" is Fluffyfire Bambi (or Bob). He's been initiated into the Ancient Order of Tantric Wicca Neo-Druids and has risen through two grades (with a mysterious amount more to go).
Well, one day he's walking through an ancient woodland, which legend has it was the haunt of many Druids in ancient times. As he's feeling the strange, otherworldly energies he comes across a HUGE oak tree he's never seen before,
"That's strange, I'm sure it wasn't there yesterday."
So he approaches it and finds that there is a clearing surrounded by many Oak trees of the same size.
And standing at the centre, a man in a white robe holding a staff.
"Wow, a Druid, probably an ancient one, I'll go and talk to him. Excuse me."
But the Druid doesn't hear as he's concentrating on something...
Fluffyfire Bambi... stuff it, Bob then shouts for attention.
"EXCUSE ME!"
But the Druid jumps and swings his staff at Bobs head, "Go away! Don't do that to me, I'm deaf in one ear, fool!"
Bob feeling bad apologises but then says, "You didn't invoke peace did you? Otherwise you'd feel better."
"Peace?" says the Druid, "What use for peace have I when I planning to kill lots of romans?"
Bob's thought's are confirmed, he's meeting a real live ancient Druid. But talk of killing makes him queasy so he says "It's bad karma to kill, isn't it?"
"Karma? What on earth is that?" The confused Druid asks.
"It's like energetic justice, get what you give sorta thing. My Arch-Druid says that you can clear bad karma by chanting the Awen. Aaaaaaaoooooooweeeeennnnnn"
"A-what? Most peculiar thing I've ever heard." And the Druid scratches his head in confoundment.
"Maybe you use Imbas?"
"What's cutlery got to do with chanting?"
"Oh. Oh well." Then looking around and admiring the trees Bob says "Isn't Nature lovely?"
Thick with sarcasm the Druid answer "Oh yes, just peachy. Only last week it offered me the gift of a flooded home and last winter all my food got eaten by a greedy fat bear!"
"Oh dear. Still isn't Druidry wonderful?" And Bob confidently smiles .
"Wonderful? WONDERFUL!? I've spent 20 years training and all it's worth is "wonderful"! It's bloody hard work! It's bad enough that I failed my last exams and have to start over but then I get offered a measly "wonderful"."
"You failed?" Says our fluffy hero, "That shouldn't happen, I think your Arch-Druid is doing it wrong."
The Druids eyes bulge out and heat proclaims to high heavens "I am the Arch-Druid! I'd swing for yer if I weren't so old!"
"Calm down, we're all friends, just have faith in the Lord and Lady, pray to the gods and say hello to the fairies. That's what my friend says to chear me up."
Well poor mister Druid, he's almost blind with so much eye bulging.
"GODS! FAIRIES!! I'm an evangelical hard-core Atheist! Bloody gods...I've been trying to teach those bloody superstitious barbarian tribes they're deluding themselves and now you're telling me Druids have succumbed to this IDIOCY!"
The Druid starts a torrent of spitting, stuttering and growling until no more can he take and he launches himself at Bob.
"Love and Ligh...oof" Squeals Bob and the Druid keeps thrashing him.
"Make love not...YAAAARRRR! "Flip" it, I can only take so much." And so Bob responds in kind.
So we shall leave these two fellow Druids to their exchange of culture, I'm putting bets on the old Druid to win ;)
Let me tell a story of one contemporary Druid's encounter with the past. It's Druidry dudes, but not as we know it. :)
Our "hero" is Fluffyfire Bambi (or Bob). He's been initiated into the Ancient Order of Tantric Wicca Neo-Druids and has risen through two grades (with a mysterious amount more to go).
Well, one day he's walking through an ancient woodland, which legend has it was the haunt of many Druids in ancient times. As he's feeling the strange, otherworldly energies he comes across a HUGE oak tree he's never seen before,
"That's strange, I'm sure it wasn't there yesterday."
So he approaches it and finds that there is a clearing surrounded by many Oak trees of the same size.
And standing at the centre, a man in a white robe holding a staff.
"Wow, a Druid, probably an ancient one, I'll go and talk to him. Excuse me."
But the Druid doesn't hear as he's concentrating on something...
Fluffyfire Bambi... stuff it, Bob then shouts for attention.
"EXCUSE ME!"
But the Druid jumps and swings his staff at Bobs head, "Go away! Don't do that to me, I'm deaf in one ear, fool!"
Bob feeling bad apologises but then says, "You didn't invoke peace did you? Otherwise you'd feel better."
"Peace?" says the Druid, "What use for peace have I when I planning to kill lots of romans?"
Bob's thought's are confirmed, he's meeting a real live ancient Druid. But talk of killing makes him queasy so he says "It's bad karma to kill, isn't it?"
"Karma? What on earth is that?" The confused Druid asks.
"It's like energetic justice, get what you give sorta thing. My Arch-Druid says that you can clear bad karma by chanting the Awen. Aaaaaaaoooooooweeeeennnnnn"
"A-what? Most peculiar thing I've ever heard." And the Druid scratches his head in confoundment.
"Maybe you use Imbas?"
"What's cutlery got to do with chanting?"
"Oh. Oh well." Then looking around and admiring the trees Bob says "Isn't Nature lovely?"
Thick with sarcasm the Druid answer "Oh yes, just peachy. Only last week it offered me the gift of a flooded home and last winter all my food got eaten by a greedy fat bear!"
"Oh dear. Still isn't Druidry wonderful?" And Bob confidently smiles .
"Wonderful? WONDERFUL!? I've spent 20 years training and all it's worth is "wonderful"! It's bloody hard work! It's bad enough that I failed my last exams and have to start over but then I get offered a measly "wonderful"."
"You failed?" Says our fluffy hero, "That shouldn't happen, I think your Arch-Druid is doing it wrong."
The Druids eyes bulge out and heat proclaims to high heavens "I am the Arch-Druid! I'd swing for yer if I weren't so old!"
"Calm down, we're all friends, just have faith in the Lord and Lady, pray to the gods and say hello to the fairies. That's what my friend says to chear me up."
Well poor mister Druid, he's almost blind with so much eye bulging.
"GODS! FAIRIES!! I'm an evangelical hard-core Atheist! Bloody gods...I've been trying to teach those bloody superstitious barbarian tribes they're deluding themselves and now you're telling me Druids have succumbed to this IDIOCY!"
The Druid starts a torrent of spitting, stuttering and growling until no more can he take and he launches himself at Bob.
"Love and Ligh...oof" Squeals Bob and the Druid keeps thrashing him.
"Make love not...YAAAARRRR! "Flip" it, I can only take so much." And so Bob responds in kind.
So we shall leave these two fellow Druids to their exchange of culture, I'm putting bets on the old Druid to win ;)
1 comment:
Whoa. And I thought that Druids were peacemakers, now and THEN! Hee, high time for some renovation of druidry, huh? ;-)
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